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Just When I had Given Up
Dedicated to Richard Tillman
Submitted by Bren
I was a single mom with four kids, three of them from a previous marriage. I moved to Hawaii to get away, to see new sights. I hoped I might find the man of my dreams (and I did), but none of the men here would go out with me because I have kids. I was frustrated to the point where I thought I would be single until my kids moved out.
I have a young daughter who is what I call a gift from the aina. I went through my pregnancy and birth alone.
When she was three months old, I told my friends I was ready to start going out on dates, nothing serious, just dinner and dancing, fun kind of stuff. I had no idea- they had some surprises in store for me!
That week, I was introduced to three guys, all named Rick. All of them wanted to go out with ME! I pretty much had my pick out of these three great guys. They were handsome, had jobs, liked kids, had similar interests as me... what a change!
Five different people who didn't know each other all wanted me to meet the same Rick. Two of my friends arranged a blind date for me and him, which they and a carload of his friends joined in on. We made an overnight trip to Kona.
When I walked around the corner of my house, the first thing I saw was THE CAR- a Day-Glo orange Honda Civic with black checkerboard tribal vinyls, NOS, sounds, a wing, racing seats, and a carbon fiber hood- this guy had a very nice toy! I've always liked cars but have never been into guys that were. I decided to go for the ride anyway. I figured even if Rick and I didn't hit it off, I'd get to go for a ride in that awesome machine!
Little did I know, we'd fall in love.
We spent the first two hours not saying much. We took a rest break in Hawi, where I noticed a tattoo on his shoulder. Our first conversation went like this:
me: "Does that tattoo say Sicilian?"
me: "Is that beacuse you are?"
me: "Cool! Me, too!"
him: "REALLY? Wow!"
Right then, I decided I liked the guy.
As we got to know each other, we discovered we have a lot in common. He's only seven weeks older than me. We're both Caucasian, Sicilian, and Native American. (among other things) We like the same clothes, perfume, jewelry, cars, movies, music, food, and furniture. We grew up in similar families, which is weird because both of our families are super chaotic. Our families know each other, which is really weird- we didn't grow up anywear near each other.
My family loves him, and they didn't even like my dad! His mom calls me just to talk. His friends ask me to hang out with their wives. My friends' husbands want to hang out with him.
My kids love him. He's their daddy. He treats them better than their own father did. The difference in the kids has been dramatic. They were all giving me a hard time when it was just me against them. Now that I have someone to back me up, they do what they're told. They have a man to look up to, someone to show them the proper way to behave and teach them how to get along in the world.
The load it's taken off me, when I had resigned myself to being a single mother, is such a relief. I no longer have to juggle raising my children with providing for them. I have someone to hold me at night and make sure we have a car and gas money to get the kids to school.
Before Rick, I never really slept. I mostly laid in bed and cried and shook with fear and uncertainty and loneliness. When I started laying my head on his shoulder at night, all of that went away. It's like a miracle. I sleep now.
That's why I agreed to marry him. Our wedding is set for June 21st, 2007, Summer Solstice, here in Hawaii where we met our dream mates.