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The Tour Guide Dedicated to Love Stories Submitted by Lupe Last October, my cousin Mary called from San Francisco, "You want to go to Hawaii?" "When?" "Just getting a head count." She's a widow. I'm divorced, and live in Los Angeles. The next day she called, "We leave next week. Start packing shorts and t-shirts." "I don't wear shorts, they show my boney knees and varicose veins. Mary, who's going? Why the head count?" "My Senior Citizen group needed twenty people or they would cancel the trip. You're in, Lu, we're going to Hawaii." I flew to San Francisco and met the group at the Center. These were senior citizens? They didn't look like seniors. Mary and I fancy ourselves younger than our sixty and sixty-two years. Mary uses a blue rinse in her gray hair. I still go for the dark brown look. "You're going to flip for the tour guide. Bill looks like Frank, and he's married." Frank is my ex-husband and I still love him. It wasn't his fault Mother Nature caused a mid-life crisis. He left me for his secretary who wore see-through blouses and short, tight skirts. I figured he'd get tired of her and come back to me. He isn't tired yet. In fact, he's added a couple of tax deductions, a boy and a girl. When Mary introduced me to Bill, his twinkling eyes looked me up and down, we shook hands and I felt a delicious, little shiver leap up my spine. He was tall and slim and wore a baseball cap. While waiting to board, Bill talked to Mary and me. Actually, Mary talked. She told him I was divorced, lived in Los Angeles and had two kids. I couldn't stop her. On the plane, she became a chatterbox again. Bill wanted to sit next to me, but I had Mary sit between us. I had to strain to hear what she told him for my own protection. The next day I said, "Mary, I'm going to flirt with Bill." "Oh no, I am. You wouldn't dare." I was feeling reckless. Was I thinking of Frank? Or Bill? This was completely out of character for me. Bill beat me to it. On the second day he sat by me, and I responded like a sixteen-year-old with her first beau. We sat together at the luau. We held hands walking around the shops. And I let him. Our fellow passengers gave us speculating looks. I forgot about flirting, this was the real thing. I was in love. One night we went dancing at the hotel. The next, we watched people parading in colorful costumes. We walked barefoot in the sand under the spell of a full, Halloween moon. Bill asked for my number, but never called. C'est la vie. I have a new neighbor. He's single, sixtyish, tall and slim and wears a baseball cap when he walks his poodle by my house. The next time I see him round the corner, I'm going out to prune my roses.
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