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The Secret Love of a Cameraman
Dedicated to The Cameraman
Submitted by Maggie
"Excuse me please could you move over just a bit so I can take their picture?" he said as I tried to take my eye's off the Wailua water fall in Kauai, Hawaii as it cascaded gracefully before me. I smiled and said "of course" as I moved out of the way of the young newlyweds and the man behind the camera. "Don't go to far now I want to take your picture as well!"
Laughing to myself and thinking 'yeah right' I began to walk towards a local man selling jewelry, beautiful pearls, off the back of his truck. I stood admiring the pearls, and I heard the cameraman shouting to me. As that minute went by I felt a wave of old feelings come up. I believed I wasn't worthy of a photo and certainly not one by myself. You see I had just ended a very long relationship in which I had allowed many years of abuse to distort my thoughts about the world and myself. I thought I would pretend as though I didn't hear him, but no luck he came down to the truck to get me. "I want to take your picture, come on you have to it's your turn. I thought to myself 'if he only knew how much it was my turn' and yes he was right I had to.
I positioned myself in front of the glorious waterfall and handed him my camera and with that he handed it to his friend who was also standing there. "You don't mind if I get in here too do ya?" The cameraman suddenly put his arm around me and smiled and said: "So is there a man in your life?" He said as the shutter opened. Here was this cute, adorably funny, sexy man smiling at me and actually wanting to be in a picture with me.
"Oh yeah, I've got lots of men in my life" I told him thinking of my son, father and five brothers. "Well how would you like to have another one?" He said kindly looking sweetly into my eyes.
I believe people come in and out of our lives to remind us of who we are. I had totally shut down the possibility of anyone ever seeing me. I needed this cameraman to show me that I was still very much alive, healthy, beautiful and desirable.
I know you want me to tell you now that we fell madly in love and lived happily ever after, but we didn't. Yet this cameraman will always be my secret love. He helped me to open my heart and wake up to the world around me, to wake up to myself! I will always love him, Hawaii and the picture because they are part of who I am now.